Cosmos the Boar
by 1tE5o6
Summary: Tangled up with the Akatsuki on accident during a writing competition, Ino begins to discover disturbing things about herself. Like what it truly means to survive as a kunoichi of Konoha, and how many heads she would be willing saw off in order to ultimately protect her special someone. AU: SakuIno. Explicit ItaIno and KakuIno.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I'm 1tE5o6.  
THIS IS AN AU fanfiction.**

1) Sasuke never left Konoha.  
2) Fuck Itachi's illness, I don't want it here, so it does not exist. ^^  
3) This only really follows plot until Asuma's death, after that, it's been the same with the Akatsuki.  
4) I utterly refuse to write Lee, Gai, Hidan or Naruto as idiots. Because it's overdone and completely untrue.   
**5) Ino is a novelist.  
**  
**This fanfiction WILL, and mean WILL have STRONG LIME AND LEMON scenes in future chapters.**  
**The pairings I have planned are as follows: **  
**KakuIno, ItaIno and SakuIno. May very well have hints of HidaIno, KisaIno and SakuKarin. **  
**Just telling you in advance. **  
**Here we go on a journey, follow me.**

_

**Kakuzu-  
**  
"AGH! How long 'till we get there? Kakuzu?! Are you even listening to me?! My feet are fucking tired!" Covering a somewhat sadistic smirk under my mask, I ignored my partner's complaints.  
"Seriously, you're the worst partner ever! Fucking prick..." Hidan muttered, crossing his arms.  
And...  
"We're here." I said simply, watching Hidan scowl.  
"It's about time." He managed to mumble, before the door slid open, and a man with dark-brown hair stood, looking flustered.  
"Ah! You made it!" He laughed nervously.  
Both Hidan and I displayed no apparent amusement as he tried to smile.  
"Alright... Uhm... My name is Yamakagi Hirano, please come in." He spoke, getting down to business.

After the long walk into the rather large living area, he offered us tea, before sitting himself down.  
"This is a very simple task of escorting my prized writer to the five nation's book writing competition. We're going to win over the stupid water country this year, I swear it..." Hirano displayed short outbreaks of immaturity.  
"I see. This classed as an A-rank, because...?" I questioned.  
"Because many strong shinobi will be tracking her down for sabotage. That's what happened last year, and the year before. Their bodyguards and the author were all killed! I figured, with Shinobi as strong as you, we could at least make it to the damn thing for once." Childishly, he pumped his fist into the air.  
"Right. So, where is this prized editor?" Hidan asked, glancing around.  
"She's in her room, venting out her anger on the furniture." Hirano replied simply.  
As if on cue, a loud smash occurred from somewhere in the compound.  
"Why the fuck is she so angry?" Hidan demanded curiously.  
"Well, I may have told her she wasn't strong enough to guard herself against what she's up against. Apparently she's not too happy about me bringing The Akatsuki into this, either..." He mumbled.  
Suddenly, the door slid open, and she ran in. My eyes widened slightly at the sight of her.  
"Raise the pay, lover boy. If I'm gonna do this, then I'll need money for-" She paused, and turned to Hidan and I in horror.  
"Hey, bitch, been a while." Hidan grinned.  
She furrowed her brows in confusion.  
"B-but... You two are... The Akatsuki that killed…. Asuma…" She frowned, giving me a dirty look.  
"Pity we didn't get to fight, Girly. I would have liked to get to know you better." Hidan grinned.  
She growled in return.  
"Oh, that is IT. Raise the price tenfold, or I'll leave." She threatened our client.  
"Y-yes Yamanaka-san..." Hirano whimpered.  
"We want the price raised or we'll kill her half way through." I glared. He merely nodded.  
Standing up, I nodded at the girl who rolled her eyes.  
"A week with the creeps who killed my Sensei. Great. Just FUN." She spoke bitterly, running out of the room, and returning with a backpack.

* * *

**Ino-**  
"Bye! Good luck on your way through!" Hirano called, as the three of us hurried as far away from him as we could.  
I just didn't understand why it had to be those two. After they killed Asuma Tsunade refused to let us go after them. So we ended up leaving it at that, Tsunade sent some ANBU after them, but the never came back. I was, truthfully planning on stabbing them both repeatedly in the face while they slept. Just for the laughs.  
There was no conversation, until about 2 minutes into the walk, when Hidan complained about us crossing through a forest. Kakuzu looked about ready to suckerpunch his partner's head into a tree.  
"Who knew such a strong fighter would be such a sook." I snickered, as he shot a glare at me.  
"Girly, I'll fucking kill you." He spoke, with all honesty.  
"Yeah. I got that." I responded dryly, not even bothering to cross his gaze.  
In a split second, I found myself dodging a Kunai that flung towards me.  
"Ugh... Already? It's been what?- Five minutes?" I asked, as a low-level bandit stood before me.  
"Hah. A measly little girl like you thinks she can win the five nations book writing competition?" He laughed.  
I growled, and leapt forward, my foot connecting with his jaw. He coughed and sputtered for a moment, before grabbing my ankle and throwing me down onto the dirt. I grimaced.  
"Playtime's over, fucker!" Hidan shouted, using the bandit's moment distraction with me as an advantage to jump in and slice his head clean off with his scythe.  
With a knowing look, I picked myself off the ground and we continued our journey.

"It's sunset. We should camp."  
Obviously, Kakuzu was very brief with his words.  
"Ohh. It's _bedtime_ kiddies!" Hidan exclaimed dryly.  
"Shut up and chop down that tree." I shouted, already getting my tent up.  
He scowled, and ran his scythe right through it.  
"Hey, be a darl and set some wires around the area." I called to Kakuzu who said nothing, and did so.  
"Jashin, you're so bossy." Hidan muttered.  
"Damn right I am! Now get a fire going." I demanded.  
In just more than twenty minutes, we were all set up, and I was munching on a rice ball.  
"You know... I'm seriously surprised you two are alive, after that team of ANBU went after you." I spoke, my mouth full.  
"Finish your food before you speak. That's just fucking gross." Hidan scolded.  
I stuck my tongue out at him, my chewed up food staring him in the face.  
"Fucking heathen." He grumbled, turning away.  
"Fucking religious people..." I mocked.  
"Both of you, SHUT. UP." Kakuzu gritted out.  
"...Fucking miser." Hidan and I mumbled in unison.  
"Considering that I'm a Shinobi... I'll take first watch." I volunteered.  
"Dumbass! We're the escorts. You're technically supposed to stand there being afraid while we slash the attacker's guts out with sharp objects!" Hidan snapped at me.  
"Hey, I'm perfectly capable of slashing guts out by myself!" I argued.  
Both Akatsuki snorted in disbelief.  
"Well, I'm going to be up editing through my work anyway. I just thought, while I'm up I could take watch..." I mumbled.  
"If you're going to be up, then either Hidan or I will have to stand guard in case you're attacked anyway." Kakuzu told me.  
I scoffed.  
"This coming from you!" I shouted.  
"Don't be fooled. He just wants the money." Hidan scowled.  
"Well duh, it's MONEY. As much as I hate to say it, the world revolves around that stuff and if you wanna survive, you gotta play by the rules... Unless of course you just steal shit."" I told him simply.  
"Oh, come on Girly, why are you talking so nonchalant? You're scared as fuck, and we know it!." Hidan commented, pointing to the goose bumps on my skin.  
"Conversations with scared people are _boring._" I shrugged, standing up.  
"Alright, I'm gonna go wash off at the waterfall nearby." I announced... Then realized they were both giving me the 'are you fucking stupid?' look.  
I chuckled.  
"Don't worry. If anyone tries to kill me, I'll drown them." I smiled.  
"Alright, Kakuzu. Am I going, or are you?" Hidan asked.  
I slouched in disappointment.  
Great. They were even guarding me while I bathed.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Deidara-Chan?" Hidan asked, as I tripped over a tree root, and landed flat on my face.  
"Who…? " I muttered, pulling myself off the ground.  
Hidan grinned in the darkness.  
"You're pretty funny." He commented.  
I scrunched up my nose in disgust, and continued my walk to the waterfall.  
When we reached it, the water was glowing in reflection of the full moon.  
"Ah! It looks refreshing!" I smiled, skipping over to the water's edge.  
Deciding it was too dark for him to see, I immediately stripped off, and jumped in.  
"Yeah. I can see." Hidan spoke flatly.  
"Good. Now I have an excuse to hit you." I replied, not really caring.  
Humming cheerfully I let the cold water run through my hair.  
"Hey, pass me the soap bar." I called, and at an alarmingly fast speed, it flew towards me.  
I blinked and dodged, as it fell into the water.  
"AWE! Look what you did! Go under there and find it." I ordered.  
He glared... Well I wouldn't actually know, cause I couldn't see him clearly.  
"Do it yourself, whore." He snapped.  
"And here I was thinking you weren't that much of a prick. But then I remembered you killed my sensei, and attempted to kill my teammates, and the feeling started to disappear, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt anyway and KINDLY asked you to find the soap you tried to HIT me in the face with, and you call me a whore! I'm starting to think you're a bad person or something." I shouted.  
I heard a brief snort of laughter.  
"Me? A bad person? You've got the wrong guy." He replied sarcastically.  
"You're taking too long. Hurry up." Strolling into the scene was Kakuzu.  
I screamed out of reflex, picked something out of the river and threw it at the direction of his voice.  
"Why... Did you throw a fish at me?" He asked.  
"PERVERT!" I accused, trying to cover myself by ducking underwater.  
"How come HE'S the pervert, and not me?" Hidan asked.  
"Because, HE'S a ninety-something year old man with fucking tentacles! That's rape waiting to happen!" I shouted.

* * *

**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kakuzu-  
**For the most part, I didn't really care about insults.  
But, personally- I may be a criminal, I kill people, I stole techniques, I was in jail once...  
However, I do not believe my interests would stoop as low as sexually taking advantage of a woman.  
It kind of stung, when she'd immediately jumped to the conclusion that I would do such a thing.  
Silently, I sent a few threads into the water where she was.  
She shrieked, and backed away from it.  
When the threads found the soap bar that had been dropped, It brought it to the surface in front of her...  
"Hurry up." I mumbled, turning around and walking back to the camp.  
I sent the clone that was guarding camp away, and sat down by the fire.  
For two minutes or so, I did nothing.  
Then, my eyes stumbled across her writing journal, the thing she writes her stories down in.  
Figuring there was nothing else to do, I picked it up, and opened the front page.  
There was a drawing of a little blonde girl and a pink haired girl holding a red ribbon.  
The blonde girl looked hurt, watching the other girl closely. The pink haired girl was looking away from their hands, her body language showed deceit.  
After studying the drawing for a minute or two, I flipped the page.

_Chapter One  
_**Drowning**

_The wind hummed a soft lullaby to the forest, as the leaves of Autumn rustled along the muddy walking track. Spider webs connected almost every tree and branch, setting the perfect scene for a ghostly tale.  
It was quite rare for people to come through the forest, and from the amount of rumors about spirits living around the area, nobody would blame them.  
Yet, there was the off occasion- when a lost man, or a young child stumbled into the place unknowingly.  
Everyone that entered the forest never seemed to come back out again, yet nobody knew whether they'd gotten lost and froze to death, or if there really were spirits that made these people disappear.  
Again, it was that time of year when a small boy, no older than eight ran through the trees, with silent tears running down his cheeks.  
Not only was the sun setting, but the wind had most definitely become violent in the time since his entry._

I found myself intrigued more as the plot progressed, turning the pages blankly as I flew through the chapters like lightning.  
"Where are you up to?" I heard the Yamanaka girl speak behind me.  
I didn't even notice Hidan and the girl come back.  
"I'm up to Chapter 9... The part where Yami got stabbed." I responded, taking a small bandage and placing it like a bookmark.  
"How are you liking it?" She asked, sitting down next to me.  
"It's really quite good." I told her, as her face lit up with happiness.  
"I found the idea when I was out shopping. That's when I think, ya know?" She giggled, wringing water from her hair.  
"Whenever I get writers block, I just go shopping, maybe spoil myself by getting some new weapons- and the Ideas just flood through my head. When that doesn't work, I quickly write a short story down, and by the time I'm done, I have words to write. Just like that." With a small smile, she picked up a pencil, and started writing things down in another journal.  
Hidan walked out, and sat on my side, and picked up her book.  
"Is this what you're entering with?" He asked, turning the page and pausing.  
"Did you draw this, girly?" He asked, as Ino nodded without any apparent care.  
"It's pretty fucking good. Is this you as a kid?" He questioned, placing his finger on the blonde in the drawing.  
She nodded again.  
"Who's the other whore?"  
Ino's paused, a sad smile passing her lips, before she snapped her head up and growled.  
"That whore, is my rival and Ex-best friend. Title was removed after she decided I liked the same guy she did." She snarled.  
"And to top it off, she didn't have a single friend before she met me. Every day that girl would sit and cry because she was getting teased about her huge forehead.  
What do I do? I help her, give her a ribbon, and beat the shit out of anyone who tried to pick on her. After that, she decided she liked 'Sasuke', and ended our friendship without a second glance. It pissed me off to no end!" When she finished her rant, she turned back to her writing.  
"Kakuzu-san." She spoke, still looking at her page.  
"Hn?" I took a sip of water.  
"I'm sorry about calling you a pervert..." She muttered, before the scene went into complete and utter silence.  
"Well, wake me up in three hours- shitheads." Hidan called, practically diving into our tent.  
So... There was silence.  
Ino scratched away at the paper, cursing at times, and snickering on others.  
I sat up closer to the fire, and slowly drifted off. (I know, I really shouldn't have.)

_I was in a cell. I think it was a cell... I couldn't tell.  
What, are these... chains? Why am I chained up?  
Wait- this place is... that stupid prison from a long time ago.  
The walls are caving in, suffocating me...  
Wait- who is that, coming out of the darkness. That Yamanaka girl? Why is she here?  
Why is she walking towards me? Now she's right in front of me.  
She looks miserable. Why the hell do I care?  
Crap, I'm still in these chains. She's leaning in right next to my ear... Is she taking my beloved money?  
"Kakuzu-san..."  
"Get away, you bitch!"  
"Kakuzu-san!"_  
_"I'll kill you!"  
"KAKUZU-SAN, WAKE THE FUCK UP, OR I'LL HANG YOU WITH YOUR OWN HAIR!" _  
Huh?

I opened my eyes, looking directly into the fire we lit earlier.  
"Bet that woke you up, huh?" I heard Ino snicker.  
I slowly lifted my head out of her lap and- wait... What?!  
She gave me an amused look.  
"You know, next time- get a pillow." She told me.  
I frowned. How could I have just fallen asleep like that?  
"We're lucky we weren't attacked." I mumbled.  
"We _were_ attacked." Ino said slowly.  
I gave her a look of disbelief.  
"Yeah. A friend of the guy Hidan killed. Got him in the shoulder with two needles dipped in poison. Pretty impressive considering I was sitting down. If you don't believe me, he's over there." She pointed to a tree where a guy was either dead or unconscious from the poison.  
I decided to say nothing.  
"Well, I'll wake Hidan up..." She sighed, crawling into the tent.  
"AH! BITCH GET OUT!" He screamed.  
"Why the fuck are you naked?!" I heard Ino laugh slightly.  
"Because I want to be. Get the fuck out!"  
She slipped out of the tent in hysterics.  
"Oh god, that was hilarious!" She giggled, getting a small pot out of her bag, and placing it on the fire, then pulling out a jar of instant coffee, and placing some in a mug.  
"Ugh... Tomorrow, we're staying at a motel." She groaned, pulling out one of those 'just add water' milk sachets.  
"That would be expensive..." I said disapprovingly.  
I heard a groan, and we both turned to the guy who slipped back into consciousness.  
"Oh! I totally forgot- HIDAN. I kept some dumbass alive for you, if you want to kill him or whatever." She called, and I noted how quickly she was catching on.  
Hidan burst out of the tent excitedly, and Ino handed him some poisoned kunai.  
"Nice." He commented, and then proceeded to sacrifice the man to his pathetic god.  
"Well. You must be TIRED from keeping watch." Ino turned to me, as sarcasm dripped off her words.  
I rolled my eyes, and slipped into the tent, that Hidan kept tidy. (He was surprisingly a neat-freak.)  
Curling up in my sleeping bag, I let the soft arguments of the two idiots send me to sleep like a lullaby.

* * *

**Ino-  
**I sipped my coffee silently, watching in interest, and slight disgust as Hidan performed one of his rituals.  
It was disturbing... Yet I couldn't peel my eyes away from it.  
Watching that man roll around helplessly... Was disturbing.  
"You're ruthless, you prick." I gagged. Hidan turned to me.  
"Then don't fucking watch!" He snapped.  
I smiled sweetly, then turned back to my work, writing.  
Eventually, the guy died of blood loss or some crap like that, and Hidan and I sat down by the fire again.  
"That was horrifying." I breathed, chugging down what was left of my coffee and smirking.  
"Konoha brats really are weak." He retorted, rolling his eyes.  
I got up to make more coffee.  
"Oh, for the love of- GO. SLEEP. We aren't gonna fucking carry you when you fall flat on your face tomorrow because you didn't fucking get any sleep." Hidan scowled.  
I frowned, and stood up.  
"Fine." Then, I proceeded to walk into my tent for the first time, then immediately walked back out.  
"And... there's a dead rat in there!" I called, sitting back down on a log.  
"Ew. Get it out." Hidan demanded.  
"No fucking way! You do it!" I snapped back.  
"Fine I'll wake Kakuzu up." He grumbled. "Just to tell you, he'll be pissed off."  
Before he could unzip the tent, I stood up.  
"No! Don't!" I whispered.  
"Why? Get the fucking rat out of your tent."  
"No! It's like 30 centimeters long!" I squeaked, and Hidan walked over to my tent and peered in.  
"FUCK. How long has that thing been IN there?" He coughed, pinching his nose in disgust.  
"I dunno, last time I used the tent was a month ago." I replied.  
"Gross." He made a quick decision, taking out the pegs, and poles, and tossing it into the fire.  
I watched in silence as it burnt.  
"Bright idea thickhead. Now where the fuck am I going to sleep?!" I snapped.  
He buried his head in his hands at his own stupidity.  
"Well, sleep in our tent." He shrugged.  
"Sleep in your tent..." I trailed off, as we both turned towards the soft snores of the Miser.  
We both shuddered.  
"Good fucking luck..." Hidan snickered as I slid into the tent, and laid down my sleeping bag.  
Soon enough, I found my eyes getting heavy.  
See? Instant coffee just isn't effective enough.

* * *

**R&R **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ino-  
**I opened my eyes at around 6 am, to find an arm drooped over me, and myself pressed against two people...  
Wait- two?  
That was when I realized, there were three of us in the tent. Too tired to care that much, I closed my eyes lazily.  
"Hey... Shouldn't you be on watch...?" I asked the paler of the two.  
"Meh..." He breathed.  
"Can't you move over a bit?" I spoke again.  
"Meh..." Was his reply again. I lifted my head to see the tent wall.  
Kakuzu was apparently taking up the other side, so I felt like the filling for a sandwich.  
"Oi, Gramps. Move over." I groaned, hitting the man in the chest.  
"Grhnn." He groaned, slapping my hand away, and going back to sleep.  
"Damn miser." I muttered, moving around until I was comfortable again, and then proceeding to sleep.  
It took about two minutes for the situation to sink into Kakuzu's mind.  
Kakuzu shot up like a bullet, waking Hidan and I up.  
"What...?" Hidan mumbled.  
"First, why is _she_ in _our_ tent, and secondly, why aren't YOU on watch?!" He snapped.  
"Ugh... Too loud..." I rubbed my ear.  
"I burnt her tent because there was a dead rat in it, then told her she could sleep in here. Then I got bored, and decided to sleep..." Hidan said casually, rubbing his eyes.  
"Wait- you burnt her tent?!" Kakuzu hissed.  
"Oi, put some clothes on before you get so close." I warned the Jashinist, as he still processed daylight.  
"Says the chick in the crop top and shorts." He retorted, flopping back into his sleeping bag.  
"Lazy ass." I muttered, shaking him slightly.  
"I'm heading down to the waterfall. Don't do anything stupid." Kakuzu told us, slipping out of the tent, and leaving the zip open.  
"UGH! It's so cold outside!" I cried.  
"Tell that cheapskate we're booking a fucking motel tomorrow." With that last mutter, I laid down again.  
"You're a pathetic excuse for a ninja..." Hidan murmured.  
"That makes two of us." I responded lazily.  
He threw a half-assed attempt at a punch at me, which I barely felt.  
"Point proven." I mumbled.

So another ten minutes later, I had managed to roll around the entire tent, and end up upside down and latching onto my little criminal friend's arm.  
"Alright, I'm getting up..." I groaned, getting to my knees, and quite successfully tripping flat on my face into a pile of dirt directly outside out tent.  
"Ow..." I hissed, rubbing my forehead and moving towards the instant coffee.  
A little somebody had been so kind as to boil some water on his way out.  
"Thhhaannnkkk youuuu Kakuzu-saaannn" I sung, pouring it into my mug.  
"For a Konoha brat, you're pretty casual with our company." Hidan spoke, walking out of the tent in all his naked glory, then proceeding to put some clothes on.  
"You couldn't have done that BEFORE you got out, could you?" I shook my head.  
"Get used to it, hoe." He grinned, heading straight for the food.  
"So we'll arrive in the town around tonight, give or take depending if we cross any more bandits or not." I told him, with a smirk.  
"Yeah, and when does the festival thingo start?" He questioned.  
"Well the festival starts tomorrow evening, that's when we hand in our entries, then the day after that, we wait around and do nothing until the evening when the award ceremony is. Finally, we head home. Which will take about a day. We're gonna love each other's company, that's for sure." I snickered.  
"Wait- Why is the way there two days, and back it's just one?!" Hidan asked.  
I chuckled.  
"You see, we need to take a different route to avoid enemies." With a sly smirk, I watched realization pour over his head like a bucket of paint.  
I finished off my coffee, and started packing up the tent.  
"That damn miser likes to take his time, doesn't he?" I muttered.  
"Be fair. He waited nearly a fucking hour for us last night. That's my fucking partner you're complaining about." Hidan scowled, packing up other things.  
"So, girly. How old are you now?" He asked changing the subject.  
"Well, when Asuma died four years ago... I was 16..." I told him.  
"Why didn't you just fucking say you were 20 then?!" He barked.  
"Because, I wanted to make your thick brain hurt." I retorted back.  
"WHO has a thick brain?!" Hidan dropped a storage scroll, and marched up to me.  
"YOU do. Because you're a THICKHEAD!" I yelled, approaching him also.  
"I'm going to rip your pretty blonde locks out of your fucking head-"  
"I'm gonna knee you in the fucking balls, you prick and-"  
"Then, I'll take my fucking scythe and shove it so far up your fucking-"  
"Then, I'll pick up a FUCKING tree, and force each branch up your ass until you fucking scream-"  
"Like the whiney, pathetic bitch you are-"  
"Then, after that, I'll drag your shitty corpse and-"  
"Feed it to Zetsu!"  
"Feed it to Chouji!"  
We both huffed, trying to catch our breath.  
"I think..." I started...  
"We're gonna get along pretty fucking well..." He finished for me.  
"This is a disaster waiting to happen..." spoke that all too familiar voice.  
"Kakuzu!"  
"Kakuzu-san!"  
Hidan and I spoke at the same time, turning around to see Kakuzu standing there with an irate look on his face.  
"Hey, Hidan..." I smirked.  
"I know." He spoke.  
Instantly, Hidan was in front of the guy, with his scythe in hand, as Kakuzu blocked it with a kunai.  
Kakuzu flipped back with a smirk.  
"Well... You're both a lot smarter than you look. Tell me, what gave it away." He... Or should I say... She smirked, as she shifted back into herself.  
"We... didn't know... Hidan was just attacking him for leaving the tent zipper open..." I spoke.  
I swear she could have face palmed.  
"Well, attack strategy number one failed." She sighed, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.  
"COWARD!" I screamed.  
"Of course, you two can't even recognize a transformation technique." Kakuzu's voice spoke again.  
We turned... Again... To see Kakuzu, mask and hat thingo off, with his pretty brown shoulder-length hair dripping wet from the waterfall.  
"Heh... You saw that? That's embarrassing..." Hidan chuckled nervously.  
"Now. You two attack ME for leaving the tent open, when YOU couldn't even remove a dead-rat from your tent, and YOU, abandoned your post!" Kakuzu snapped.  
"Having a go at me, huh? You fucking fell asleep." Hidan chuckled.  
"Hidan. Shut up." He gritted out.  
"We should get a move on…" I muttered, moving to pack things up.  
"Get dressed first." Kakuzu muttered.  
I blinked before remembering I was still in my sleepwear.  
"Ooopssiieee…" I giggled, walking over to my bag and throwing on my normal purple attire.  
"So... Let's pack up and go!" I shouted, fist-pumping the air violently.

"What the fuck…?" Hidan muttered, kicking the corpses that lay on the forest floor.  
"Somebody had a party without me!" He shouted.  
I shushed him, and examined the lifeless souls.  
"They look like they've been… drowned…" I muttered, noting the blueness of the skin.  
The taut limbs of my fellow writer were being eaten at by insects.  
Gross.

* * *

**R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ino- **

"Stay on guard. There's a fair chance we're being targeted at the moment." Kakuzu schooled us.  
"Yeah, we got that." Hidan hissed, as we stepped over the bodies… Respectfully (Cough cough) and continued until we came by a lake.  
I went to take a step but Hidan stopped me.  
"Let me see something…" he muttered, picking up a pebble and throwing it into the water.  
It sunk… Before a whirlpool emerged from the spot and viciously sucked away anything within a 4 meter radius.  
"Well that sucks…" he sighed.  
"Damn, I wish I was Yamato right now. We could just conjure up a bridge." I commented.  
"Any ideas?" Kakuzu asked.  
Hidan nodded, and spun his scythe above his head, building up speed before throwing it across the length of the lake whilst holding onto the weird elastic-like part that extended from it.  
"Girly, hold this." He spoke, and I held it, watching as he walked along it like it was a tightrope.  
Kakuzu followed him, and the both reached the other side no sweat… Until they realized they left me ALONE on the other side of the lake.  
Immediately, I was attacked.  
Dropping the rope, I jumped away from some exploding kunai.  
Then, the same woman from earlier started fighting me with tai-jutsu.  
I kept up with her high level easily, dodging and blocking every hit and kick she threatened to throw at me.  
Then, a man jumped into the scene, and I was fighting them both simultaneously.  
I backed off and found an opening.  
"Mind, body switch." I whispered, watching as they both begun fighting each other.  
With a smile I had them both jump into the lake, with cries of 'I can't control my body!' as the whirlpool drowned them, before the caster of the technique died (Cancelling it in the process.)  
"And that, ladies and gents, is why you shouldn't mess with a Yamanaka! They'll fuck you over repeatedly. Especially the heir to the 15th generation Yamanaka, Inoichi, and the head of the interrogation corps!" I shouted boldly.  
"Girly… You're scary, you know that?" Hidan asked, as I walked across the lake.  
I nodded.  
"Duh." With a dumb smile, I continued our journey.

"Aww... We didn't get to sabotage anyone..." I pouted as we walked into the village we were headed to.  
Apparently the other contestants arrived earlier than us.  
So, the writer that was drowned was from the land of wind. The other writers all appeared to be there and in one piece. It was 5.30 pm, and we walked around until we were met with a man with dark red hair and a smug look painted across his face.  
"Hi. Miss Yamanaka, correct? I don't suppose you were told that you and your... body guards..." He gave Kakuzu and Hidan a disgusted look, "Have one free room at the 5 star resort, the package including free meals until the ceremony has finished. Speaking of free meals, you have been invited to dine with the other contestants at Nurci's restaurant just across the road from your motel. At 7 PM" He smiled.  
"As expected. Thank you, we'll go book..." I grinned back, then left him to it.

"Ah yes, Yamanaka Ino?" I clarified to the man behind the service desk.  
"Oh! You're the land of fire's writer?! I'm routing for you. Good luck!" He smiled, handing us the key to our room.  
We took the stairs up, just to torture Hidan.  
When we reached to room, we found it to be…. MASSIVE.  
There was a separate bedroom area that was connected to the bathroom, a tiny kitchen area, with a mini-fridge and all that jazz, and a fold out couch, which I would most definitely make Hidan and Kakuzu share, because there is no freaking way I'm sharing a room with them after last night.  
… That sounded wrong.  
"You two better hope you have something nice to wear for this dinner." I told my companions.  
They exchanged looks before bursting out into laughter.  
"Yeah, cause they hand out paychecks in criminal organizations!" Kakuzu snorted.  
"Oh, hey- I was thinking a nice tux- what do you think?" Hidan deadpanned.  
I rolled my eyes.  
"Well maybe if you'd lay off the designer nail polish, you could afford something once in a while." I made my way into the bathroom to check the towels.  
I frowned at the sight of only two, and walked right back out into the living area.  
Furiously, I punched numbers into the small black phone.  
"Ah, hallo. Is this the service desk?" I asked innocently.  
"Yes, this is the service desk." Came a high-pitched voice.  
"Well, could you please get someone to bring two towels up to room 10?" I questioned impatiently.  
"Sure thing. The extra charge will be-"  
"Bullshit! I'm not paying you EXTRA!" I cried.  
"I remind you, miss…. Yamanaka- that you didn't pay for the room to begin with." The woman spoke firmly.  
"Well, add it to the bill of the guy who paid for the room! Now get those towels up, pronto!" I snapped, hanging up the phone.  
"Our nail polish is part of a strict uniform policy!" Hidan told me.  
"Ha. Haahahaha. What does it represent? Manliness?!" I scoffed, flopping down on the loveseat.  
Hidan growled.  
"Care to join me, oh manly one?" I asked, batting my eyelids.  
"Drop dead, girly." He muttered, and I gave him a painfully fake pout.  
"Awe… Kakuzu-san? There's a space here, we can snuggle." I offered.  
"I'd kill you. Hidan, take a shower." Kakuzu said, as Hidan rolled his eyes and disappeared into the bathroom.  
"If you don't have anything to wear, just try and look presentable…" I murmured, walking into the bedroom to change.  
I stripped off my clothes and turned to my suitcase to find a dress, when the bathroom door shot open and Hidan walked out of the bathroom, in all his naked glory.  
We stared blankly at each other for a minute.  
"I left my nail polish in here..." He mumbled, and I threw it to him.  
"Thanks." With this, he turned on his heel, and re-entered the bathroom.  
I hastily changed into my blue satin dress, and applied makeup to my already gorgeous face.  
I just finished up, when Hidan left the bathroom, fully clothed this time and nodded in approval.  
"Not bad, girly."  
I grinned, and kicked the door open, before dragging Hidan into the main room with me.  
"Kakuzu-saaannnnn~" I called cheerfully, and the miser glanced up from his (MY) book.  
"Yes?" He asked.  
"We gotta go, or we'll be late!" I announced, grabbing a purse, clipping a kunai holder to my upper thigh.  
Kakuzu bookmarked his page, and stood up.  
"Alright. Let's go."

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**R&R**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ino-**

"Wow. This place is fucking fancy…" Hidan breathed out in awe, gazing up at the chandelier.  
"Keep the language in your mouth, mister." I warned him.  
"Yamanaka-san!" A loud voice shouted from across the restaurant.  
I turned to see the writers, their bodyguards, and the leader of the whole competition at a huge table.  
"Hey! Sorry I'm late." I called, taking a seat, in between Kakuzu and the competition leader (His name was Dekuchi, He's fat, ugly… and, well… Horny.)  
It was only twenty minutes into dinner, when he had a hand stroking my thigh.  
I cocked my head to Kakuzu, to see if he could help me out any.  
He didn't even notice.  
So… I took my glass of champagne, and chugged it down.  
Dekuchi was slowly moving his hand towards my crotch (and I mean… SLOWLY.), as I chugged down as much champagne as I could get my hands on.  
He nestled his hand in between my legs, and I jumped to my feet.  
"Excuse me for a moment. I'm feeling a little sick." I squeaked, grabbing Kakuzu's arm, and practically dragging him outside, as I left the restaurant.  
I punched the wall in frustration.  
"Ugh! That perverted creep!" I shouted.  
"Feeling you up under the table?" Kakuzu assumed.  
"VERY much so!" I shouted, sipping the last of the champagne in the glass I brought along, then smashing it on the ground.  
"Your solution is drinking?" He raised an amused brow.  
"No! My solution was going to be-"  
"Leaving me alone with those posh fucking douchebags?" Hidan called, running up to us.  
"Yes." I grinned, my heels echoing off the sidewalk before we reached the motel.  
Once inside the motel room, safe from the clutches of Dekuchi, the fat horny pig, I collapsed on the loveseat.  
"I swear to god, if you let that man go anywhere within a 5 meter radius of me, I'll castrate you. Both." I groaned.  
"Pfft. You don't scare me, girly." Hidan laughed, walking over and sitting on my knees, like I was a fucking sofa or something!  
"Get off me! You're fat!" I cried, squirming.  
"Heh. I guess we have more in common than I thought, girly."  
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I barked, giving up on my squirming, and glaring up at him.  
"Girly." He teased, and I flipped him off.  
"They re-stocked the towels, Ino. Hidan, get off our punter." Kakuzu said calmly, putting the jug on.  
I used my ninja strength to kick Hidan off me, and run into the bathroom.  
"I'll be in the shower. If Dekuchi comes by, tell him I'm not here." I spoke, practically throwing myself into the bathroom to shower.  
15 minutes later, I was in a large green blouse that worked more as a nightgown (It passed my knees…. It was my dad's, alright?) And of course, underwear. No. I am NOT a whore. My blonde hair was towel dried, and I combed through it as I walked into the lounge room area.  
Hidan was flipping through the DVD cases like mad.  
"What are you gonna pick?" I asked absently, opening the mini fridge, and taking out a Pepsi. Yes, by the way readers, Pepsi and DVD players exist here. Oops. Minding the fourth wall.  
"Obviously Horror." Hidan told me.  
"Yes. You can relate yourselves to the serial killers." I laughed, sitting down on the loveseat and proceeding to smile cheerfully at Kakuzu, who was lounging on the sofa.  
Hidan popped a movie in the DVD player, grabbed a Pepsi max and some chocolate, before switching the lights off and joining me on the loveseat.  
The movie started with two teenage boys and two girls walking through a forest, laughing, and drunk off their heads. They ended up getting brutally murdered, except for one girl who managed to escape.  
Hidan offered me some chocolate, which I gladly took.  
Halfway through the movie, Hidan spoke.  
"Have you noticed that there's always one chick who manages to survive for some dumb fucking reason?" He asked, nudging me in the arm.  
"Yeah! If I were that guy, I'd just kill the violent one first." I nodded in agreement.  
15 minutes after that, Hidan nudged me again, and I turned to where he pointed.  
Kakuzu was asleep on the sofa.  
"Wow, his age must be getting to him. It's only 9.30." I whispered. Hidan snickered at the comment.  
By the end of the movie, I was half asleep, my feet comfortably placed in Hidan's lap, while Hidan was partially awake, his head leaning back on the loveseat as the credits started scrolling down the black screen.  
"What do you rate it, out of ten?" I uttered.  
"Five point five, you?" He murmured back.  
"Three." I decided, my eyes closed.  
"Are you gonna sleep on the loveseat, or are you gonna wake Kakuzu up?" I asked, picking up the remote and turning the T.V off.

"Depends. Can I swap you for the bed?" He asked.  
"No. I called it. All of it." I frowned, getting up to get him some blankets.  
"Get some for Kakuzu, too." Hidan called softly.  
I came back with two duvets, and a pillow for Hidan.  
I tossed a Duvet over Kakuzu, and handed Hidan the other.  
"Now that that's out of the way, wanna play old maid?" I asked, getting a deck of cards from the kitchen bench-top.  
"Why the fuck not?" Hidan grinned, going over to the fridge again, as I lit some candles around the table so we could see.  
"You want another Pepsi?" He asked.  
"Mm-hm." I nodded, shuffling over the deck.  
He sat down opposite me with two cans of Pepsi and a bowl of chips.  
I took a can, and started dealing.  
"So, are you gonna kill me after this mission?" I asked casually.  
He shrugged.  
"It's Kakuzu's choice."  
I nodded, and laughed cracking open my can and bringing it to my lips.  
"Ohmygrrd!" I cried, my mouth full and ran over to the sink to spit it out.  
"What's wrong?" Hidan asked.  
"This can is POISONED." I coughed, rinsing my mouth out with water.  
"That's probably why it tastes funny." Hidan smirked, drinking from my can.  
"Don't DRINK THAT!" I gaped, rushing over to him. He kept drinking.  
"YOU wouldn't die like a mortal person would, but you'll be vomiting for days!" I shrieked.  
He grinned and finished off the can. I should get him to vomit up the poison before it can take effect.  
"Alright, smug bastard." I growled, getting up and wrapping my arm around his neck to keep his head still.  
"Open your mouth for me. This is called a gag reflex. It's what we do back in Konoha hospital for patients who've accidentally swallowed poison." I told him, as his eyes widened.  
"No fucking way!" He shouted.  
I grabbed his nose, and his chin, and attempted to pry his jaw open.  
"I will KICK you in the balls!" I warned, trying to get him to sit still.  
"You're not putting your fucking fingers in my mouth!" He shouted. I sighed, and let him go.  
"Fine. I give up." I murmured, watching him sit down on the seat, as I sat back down in mine.  
I leaned over the table to pick up some chips, and when I was close enough to him, I grabbed the sides of his face and smashed my lips against his.  
I was fast working, and I shoved my tongue (as beautiful as it sounds) to the back of his mouth, and he started to choke or… gag. I quickly picked up the bucket I hid under the table and pulled away just in  
time for him to vomit into it for 30 straight seconds.  
I patted him on the back sympathetically, before going to get him a glass of water to rinse his mouth out with.  
"You bitch…" He groaned, snatching the water from me.  
"It was either vomit now for 30 seconds, or vomit for six days straight." I smirked.  
"You didn't have to shove your fucking tongue down my throat!" Hidan croaked.  
"That was my emergency tactic." I laughed at his disapproving expression.  
"I'm serious. We actually used that on a frantic woman back in Konoha. She left the building questioning her sexuality." I told him seriously.  
He snickered.  
"So, I'm wondering… What happened to those ANBU?" I questioned, glancing over at Kakuzu who was asleep.  
"I'm kinda tired..." Hidan muttered to himself, blowing out the candles.  
"Oh… alright… I guess I'll get some sleep as well…" I spoke, as we both went into the bathroom to brush our teeth. Yes, we actually do that. Criminal or otherwise. Mouth hygiene is important. Especially when you've just puked your guts out. So I settled into bed, but found it stuffy. So I took off my nighty, and slept in my underwear. Who needs bras anyway?

* * *

**R&R**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ino-**

I awoke the next morning at the sound of the toilet flushing. Charming, right?  
I groggily opened my eyes just in time to see Hidan walk out of the bathroom quite nakedly, and pass into the kitchen. Rolling out of bed with a groan, and falling (gracefully) on my ass… I stumbled through the door to greet my temporary body-guards.  
"Heymorninghowareyouthat'sgoodthanksm'kaybye." I mumbled, sitting down on a chair.  
"Interesting top you have on." Hidan spoke somewhat sadly (Yeah, what the frig muffins?), and I blinked- realizing my lack of clothing.  
"Interesting pants you have on." I countered snidely. Thankfully, Kakuzu was still asleep.  
"Both of you, get some clothes on…" spoke a muffled voice from the sofa.

So about an hour later, everyone was up and ready for a day of complete nothingness.  
"I hate tourist villages." Hidan muttered, as we walked through streets full of food stalls.  
"How could you hate tourist villages?! There's food around every corner!" I gaped.  
Hidan didn't even respond. He just glared at the pavement.  
"Wait, wasn't your village turned into a tourism spot?" I realized. "I woulda thought you'd be used to it."  
If anything, Hidan just glared harder. That poor pavement.  
"Ino." Kakuzu spoke, nudging me in the shoulder lightly.  
I turned to him questioningly.  
"Just stop mentioning it." He muttered. I sighed and nodded.  
"Want to get some lunch? I'll shout." I suggested.  
Hidan didn't say anything. Okay, this was just weird.  
"Come on, you sook. Let's get some Barbe-Q." Smirking, I tugged on his sleeve, and lead the way into the little side-restaurant labeled 'BBQ'

"Here, Eat." I demanded, shoving a VERY heaped plate in front of Hidan.  
"I'm not hungry." He pushed it away.  
"Well, I'm not gonna eat this whole plate by myself!" I cried, before turning to Kakuzu.  
"Ugh! Help me out here- why is he so depressed?" I questioned frantically.  
Kakuzu shrugged before speaking, "You _are_ paying for all this, right?"  
I rolled my eyes.  
"Is that all you care about?! Show a bit of empathy for your teammate you bloody cheap-skate!" I shouted, pointing somewhat accusingly at him.  
"I don't feel empathy."  
"FUCK YOU!" I screamed, jumping out of my seat and capturing a_ lot_ of attention.  
I hastily sat myself back down, my cheeks flaring red.  
"Look. You don't have to tell us what's up, alright. Please just eat something." I pleaded in frustration.  
Hidan ignored me completely.  
Kakuzu sighed, and crossed his arms.  
"I'm going to take a look at the book store across the road. I'll just meet you at the room later." He got to his feet.  
"Yeah. Do you have the spare key to the room?" I asked, as he nodded.  
"Alright then, see you later." I called, watching him leave, before turning back to Hidan.  
"Hey, come on. Cheer up." I offered a warm smile, but he still ignored me.  
I pouted, and started eating off the plate I'd previously offered.  
"Y'know, I don't even know why I care. I personally prefer anti-social Hidan." I spoke, with my mouth full of pork jowls. He flipped me off, and I grinned.  
"Well, it's not your usual loud-mouthed self, but it's something. We're making progress." Smirking, I finished off the plate.  
He gave me a disgusted look, and I remembered my previous 'I can't eat this whole plate' statement, with a cheeky grin.  
"I guess I could eat a whole plate, huh?" I chuckled.  
He sighed, and rested his head in his hands. I got up to leave, and he silently followed, waiting as I paid.

"Wanna help me pick a costume for the festival tonight?" I asked.  
Hidan gave me the 'are you fucking kidding me?' look.  
"I don't mean that I'll drag you around as my chaperone, while I try on millions of dresses." I told him seriously.  
"When I say costume, I _mean _costume." I pointed towards a costume shop and smirked evilly.  
"You're picking out an outfit as well. We'll force Kakuzu to wear one too." I winked, and we walked into the shop. Heading towards a rack, I immediately found something that fit me. I whistled, and ran into the change room, then re-appeared in an admittedly slutty kitty outfit.  
"Nya!" I giggled, striking a cute pose.  
Hidan didn't even bother looking at it, but gave me the thumbs up.  
My left eye twitched, and I placed my hands on my hips.  
"Look at the outfit Hidan. I don't think it's quite what you expect." I growled. He rolled his eyes and turned towards me.  
I struck a pose again, this time giving him a good view down my cleavage.  
It's not usually how I do things, but hell to that shit!  
He looked mildly surprised, and I took out my pony-tail, letting my long blonde hair fall down.  
"Tell you what. If you tell me what's up, I will walk around in this outfit for the entire day! Out in public and everything!" I offered.  
Hidan couldn't help but snicker.  
"You got yourself a deal, girly."  
My eyes lit up like lanterns.  
"Alrighty then, Go ahead. Tell me." I smiled encouragingly.  
"Er… In front of everyone?" He asked nervously, looking around. The place had 7 or so people in it.  
"Since when have you been timid?" Snickering, I brushed a strand of hair out of my face.  
"I'm not fucking shy! This is just personal!" He snapped.  
I sighed in defeat, and walked over to him.  
"Fine. How about… this?" I sat myself directly in his lap, and wringed my arm around his neck to hold my balance.  
"If you speak to me this close, no one can hear." I explained softly, waiting for him to start talking.  
"The problem is, I had a fucking dream I couldn't fucking kill you." He explained.  
I sat confused.  
"Wait, what?" I asked.  
"I've never been in a situation, where I've ever fucking hesitated to kill someone. In the dream, I couldn't kill you… There was some other stuff, as well…" He muttered.

* * *

**R&R**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ino-**

I raised an eyebrow.  
"Why couldn't you kill me? And tell me what other stuff." I urged. He sighed.  
"You'd let it get to your fucking head." He spoke.  
"Of course. Now speak."  
"Well, it was because I felt… feelings." I re-capped what he'd just said in my mind.  
"You felt… feelings?" I repeated slowly.  
"I'm not saying anything else." He said quickly.  
"Wait- FEELINGS?! As in mushy lovey, or as in sexy horny feelings?" I questioned.  
He shrugged.  
"Both, probably. But it was just a fucked up dream is all." He spat.  
I smiled, and pressed my forehead against his.  
"Hmm. Too bad it was just a fucked up dream. I have a pretty hot cure for the sexy-horny feelings." I grinned, before walking up to the counter.  
"I want to buy this outfit I have on." I said, fixing up the clip on the whip, and putting the eye mask on.  
The guy at the counter, stopped drooling to take my money, and wished me a nice day.  
Hidan bought the two outfits for him and Kakuzu, and we left.  
I got a LOT of weird looks, and wolf whistles.  
The leather wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought, and Kakuzu was actually just leaving the book shop as we walked by.  
"Okay, what the hell?" He asked, looking from the relatively happy Hidan and back to me.  
"This is how you cheered him up?" He gaped, before turning to Hidan. "You sick pervert."  
"She dragged me into a fucking costume store, put on that outfit then said, she's wear it if I told her what was fucking up." Hidan snapped.  
"The festival starts in a few hours, can we just head back and rest a bit?" I asked.  
Kakuzu sighed.  
"Yeah. I suppose so."

So that was that. We headed back to the motel room, and I went through my backpack in search of something to write in.  
When I couldn't find my story, I started to panic.  
"Kakuzu?! Where's my story?!" I shouted, running into the living room area.  
Weirdly enough, he was reading the damn thing. Again.  
"Oh thank-friggin' GOD." I sighed in relief.  
Kakuzu put up a finger to silence me, and I glanced over to see him on the last page.  
I smirked, and put my hands on my hips, waiting for him to finish.  
He finally closed the book, and stood up. I waited for his thoughts on the story, but instead- he walked up to me, and pulled me into a bone-crushing bear hug.  
"I'm gathering you liked it?" I squeaked, trying to find air.  
"Are you doing a sequel?" He asked, stepping back.  
"I wasn't going to publish it. Why would I write a sequel?" I shrugged.  
"Ino. You have to write a sequel. Publish this work." He ordered, with an intense gaze.  
"Well, what if I don't want to, and it ends up being shit!?" I asked.  
"I don't care if you don't want to. You will write a sequel." I watched as his glare became darker, and threatening. I grimaced, but nodded. Fucking hell. This guy was scary as hell.  
"I...Urm... Right..." I took the book from Kakuzu's hand and walked away cautiously, making sure he didn't suddenly pull out a big ass fucking katana and start stabbing me.  
That was when there was a knock on the door. I blinked and walked over to answer it.  
My face paled, when I realized who it was. His nose spurted blood as he looked me and my kitty outfit up and down hungrily.  
"Oh- Hello Dekuchi..." I spoke nervously.  
He instantly pushed his way inside the room, and grabbed a box of tissues to aid his nose. Hidan walked into the room, and gave me a confused look, before mouthing 'What the fuck is he doing here?' I shook my head and shrugged, a look of complete disgust painted over my face, as Dekuchi started blowing his nose on the tissues.  
I mimed gagging, and Hidan snickered.  
"Can I ask, for what reason I've been graced with your presence?" I asked sweetly, folding my arms, and walking over to his side.  
He wiped his nose off one last time, before turning to me, with that same perverted expression.  
"How'd you like to ditch your bodyguards..." He gave Kakuzu and Hidan a disgusted look, much like what the info man with red hair that we spoke to when we arrived. "... and earn some extra points in the competition?" He spoke, brushing some of my hair behind my ear.  
"I would love to... but I..." I trailed off, as he leaned forward- his face a little too close to mine.  
His breath absolutely reeked. Like- a mixture of onions and garlic with a tiny bit of tomato on the side.  
"Surely you realize, that you don't have a choice if you want to win this thing, Yamanaka-san."  
Kakuzu and Hidan were just standing around watching, waiting for my response.  
"I have to apologise, Dekuchi-Sama. As much as I would love to… uh… have fun with you, I…" I paused and quickly thought of something.  
"I'm a lesbian."  
He jumped backwards, and nodded.  
"Oh… I understand. Well, baby, if you ever feel like testing a man- just come and see me."  
With that, he turned and left. I let out a long breath and groaned, before turning around to see Hidan and Kakuzu just staring. I rolled my eyes, and went back onto the sofa to write some stuff in my book.  
It was only two hours later, we were heading to the festival. I forced Kakuzu and Hidan to wear at the LEAST, matching kitty ears, and the looks we got as we walked into the lantern streets were priceless. Kakuzu was just scowling, and Hidan was flirting with several young ladies standing around as I registered my book.  
"You're quite young, aren't you? I'm impressed by your nerve, competing against some of the best." The woman at the counter smiled, before leaning over.  
"Dekuchi-Sama told me you were a lesbian, so there isn't any… girl love in your story is there?" she spoke hesitantly. I scratched my head.  
"Well, read it and find out, cutie." I winked at her, she blushed and took the book from me with a nod. I gave her a stout wave, and dragged Kakuzu off with me, Hidan trailing behind. Did I just make a woman blush over me?  
I giggled at the thought, but was so caught up in it, I bumped into someone.  
"Ah! Sorry!" I cried immediately, looking at the person and stepping back in shock.  
"You're…"  
The man looked between Kakuzu, Hidan and I and blinked. Kakuzu folded his arms.  
"You're here, Itachi? Is Kisame here, too?" He asked Itachi nodded, and glanced at me.  
"Just interested in the competition. Why are you with a Konoha shinobi… and wearing cat ears?" He questioned, hardly looking surprised at all. Hidan whistled.  
"Mission, but she's a handful." He told Itachi, "She made us wear the ears to match her costume." He poked my shoulder. A big, blue man who I recognised from the bingo books as Kisame Hoshigaki, came up from behind Itachi and grinned.  
"Fancy meeting the Zombi Combi, here…" He paused, "And with such a cute girl, too." I stared up at him, and shivered. I didn't even need to try to sense how enormous his chakra was. He seemed like the type I could get along with, though. I glanced back to Itachi, who was no longer looking at me, but glancing irately at Kisame.  
Kakuzu hummed.  
"Take her off our hands, would you?" he asked, grabbing Hidan's cloak and walking away.  
"Wh-what?!" I asked, wide eyed. Kisame frowned.  
"You just want to avoid paying, don't you?!" He asked, but it was too late, they'd already gone. I blinked, and looked between the two Akatsuki. This was ridiculous. How dare those two leave me with complete strangers? Useless bodyguards.

* * *

**R&R**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ino-**

We'd walked around in silence for a bit, before stopping at a nice restaurant open to eat. Kisame sighed.  
"So, what's your name?" He asked, handing me a menu.  
"Thanks. My name's Ino." I told him. Kisame sat up.  
"Oh! Yamanaka?! I've heard about you!"  
Both Itachi and I looked relatively surprised at that. We crossed gases, but I immediately looked away, to avoid getting wrapped up in his 'Uchiha looks'. Kisame continued,  
"I ended up overhearing someone talk about you training under Morino Ibiki, and getting better results than him your first try. You're quite good at messing with minds, aren't you?" He gave me a toothy grin, and I thought on it. Itachi peered over at me, and I went pale.  
"The Yamanaka excel, like the Aburame clan." Itachi told Kisame. I frowned.  
"And the Uchiha." I added. Itachi said nothing.  
"Well, does this mean I have the luxury of eating dinner with two natural-born geniuses?" Kisame chuckled.  
The waiter came over, Kisame ordered something surprisingly small, Itachi, nothing much either, yet I ordered about twice as much as the both of them put together. A lot of girls around the restaurant were staring, and I knew why. Itachi was certainly eye candy, but on top of that, I was in a leather kitty outfit, talking to a shark man, after Dekuchi had gotten out about that lie I told him about me being a lesbian. I think I needed to drink this one out of my system, later.  
Kisame and I had an interesting conversation about interrogation techniques in different villages, and how the harshness changed through each nation, and after we'd finished up out meals, Kisame had been asked to carry a drunken woman back to her room.  
I stared as he left, realising I was alone with personified anti-socialness.  
I stood up.  
"I think I might go watch the fireworks. Do you want to?" I asked him. He sighed and stood up, reaching through his cloak for money. I took out some money from my purse, and added it to the bill.  
We went through a small cut tree-line to get a good view. Everyone was down on the lower grass area, but probably couldn't get up to where we were.  
Itachi was sitting down and leaning against a tree. I sat next to him and there was silence, aside from the occasional firework. I turned to the side, Itachi was literally unreadable.  
I stared for a moment, and he shifted over so there was more room between us.  
"What are you thinking…?" I wondered aloud.  
Pouting slightly, I turned back to the fireworks. Some kids ran up the hill, saw us and unsurely scrambled back down again.  
Itachi spoke.  
"You should have gone home the minute you had to work with Akatsuki members." I turned to look at him, and nodded.  
"You're right" I sighed, taking a sip of the sake I'd brought along. Itachi refused to have any, because he wasn't all that fond of alcohol,  
"and you know what? I think I'll be dead in two days' time." I laid back my head and wondered. Maybe I SHOULD become a lesbian. I wouldn't mind trying it with a girl before my time is up. I think I'd want that girl to be Sakura, though. So that there was that level of… love already there.  
"Hey, Itachi." I mumbled, he gave me a questioning look.  
"This is weird, but if you had to sleep with someone, would you rather it be someone you're close to, or a stranger?" I asked. He was silent for a moment.  
"Well…" He trailed off, "hypothetically, a stranger. Why?" Itachi asked suspiciously. I thought before replying.  
"I suppose… I'm realising something about myself…" I turned on my side and pressed my head against the tree trunk.  
"If I talk, can you pretend to listen?" I whispered. Itachi didn't say anything.  
"I lost out to your brother in only one thing, you know." I mumbled.  
"My best friend liked him more than she liked me, and it hurt like hell to know that she felt that way, after I'd protected and… and loved her like-" I choked and couldn't continue for a moment because I was busy trying to stop myself from completely breaking.  
"I won't get to tell her I protected her because I loved her- and I'd throw myself in front of the enemy again and again, because I can't stand to see her get hurt. The scariest thing is- not that she'll remember me as awful- either! It's that I know the last words she spoke to me were about him." I curled up, my knees pressed tight against my chest.  
_Who am I kidding? Telling this to a guy who murdered his entire clan… Sheesh, why the hell couldn't he have just killed Sasuke while he was at it? It would have made my life so much-  
_My eyes widened. _  
Why __**couldn't**__ he have just killed Sasuke? He was perfectly capable of-  
_"THERE you two are!"  
Itachi and I both jumped slightly, as Kisame stormed over the hill.  
"The festival is over, let's go back, I'm exhausted from running around looking for you." He sighed, offering me a hand up. I took it and silently decided to think back to the matter when I got back to the room.  
The moment I got back to the hotel room, Hidan leapt on me, hugging me so tight I could barely breathe. Itachi and Kisame had come along, probably to talk or something.  
"Woah there, Hidan. What are you so happy about?" I yawned.  
"Kakuzu never talks to me. I missed winning arguments." He laughed. I glared at him.  
"You little shit!" I cried, hitting him on the shoulder, and storming into the bathroom to take a shower.  
I bit my tongue, stripping off my clothes and running the water, as soon as it become warm, I hummed and stepped in.  
_Foo told be the root were completely loyal to Danzou, right? Why would Itachi especially, even think of betraying-  
_I was stopped mid-thought as nearly a hundred senbon came flooding from each corner of the room.  
My first instinct was to protect my neck and up.

* * *

**R&R**


	9. Chapter 9

**Kakuzu-**

Hidan switched off the horror movie he'd been watching with a sigh.  
"Is Girly still in the shower?" He asked aloud. I was silent, listening to the sound of running water in the background.  
"Hm… She's been a while, hasn't she?" Kisame noted. There was silence again.  
"Go check on-"  
Hidan had already left to do it.  
"Hey, Girly! You drowning yourself in there, or what?!" I heard him shout, followed by thumping on the bathroom door.  
"If you don't answer me right now, I'm going to go in there!"  
Silence. Hidan probably entered the bathroom after that.  
"SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!" He cried, I hummed, and glanced up, Itachi Kisame and I were all listening intensely, not saying anything. Hidan came out ten seconds later with a naked Ino, bleeding and imbedded with hundreds of senbon. She looked like a cactus plant.  
She was still conscious and moaning slightly, her trembling hands gripping a bundle of bloody senbon she had presumably pulled out earlier. He laid her on the table and looked at us for help.  
I rushed over and had a closer look. She wasn't dead because she'd used medical ninjutsu to stop the bleeding WHILST the senbon were still in her body.  
"Here, Hidan, hold her shoulders, I'll pull them out." I told him, getting a box of tissues from the kitchen behind me and frowning.  
"NO!" She moaned, trying to sit up.  
"I don't want Akatsuki scum… helps… I'll do this…" She wasn't even making sense now, as she fiercely pulled one of the needles from her arm, the wound closing itself up behind it. She gritted her teeth.  
"Impressive. She's healing the wounds as she goes, too." Kisame commented, I hadn't even noticed him standing next to me.  
Hidan shook his head.  
"We can get it done faster, you idiot! If you take your time like that, you'll die!" He snapped, Ino looked up at him perilously and held her hands to him in a weird hand sign.  
I blinked. Was she seriously going to attack him in that state?!  
Her body was suddenly limp, and Hidan moved forward to start pulling senbon from her, without stopping blood from flowing out.  
"What did she just do, and why isn't she dying?" Kisame asked, glancing at Itachi, across from us. He was thinking on it.  
"Shintenshin." Hidan said, as I exchanged looks with Kisame.  
"I see. You have his immortality so long as your spirits are connected." Itachi said, before moving to pull some senbon from Ino's thigh. Hidan… or… I suppose, Ino, said nothing. Kisame and I stood back and watched. They'd pulled them all out in thirty seconds, and Ino closed up the wounds from another body. (Hidan's) From there, she sighed and released the technique.  
Hidan slouched forward, and I grabbed his body before it fell over.  
Ino opened her eyes and sat up, cursing in pain for a moment, before scrambling over the table and limping into the bedroom to get clothes on.  
Hidan stirred in my grip, and woke up, looking at me with wide eyes, before smiling and snuggling up to me. I growled.  
"You caught me, Kakuzu-chan~" He laughed. I frowned and hit him over the head.  
"Don't be stupid."  
Kisame was drumming his fingers on the table. I blinked at him.  
"What?"  
"Nothing." He responded with. Hidan shook his head and scoffed, pulling off me.  
"Yeah, Kisame. Tell us."  
"Hmm. I'm excited just thinking about fighting her, that's all." Kisame finally said giving me a grin.  
Ino pounced through the door, somehow whipping a kunai from Hidan's shurriken pouch mid-leap as she passed in her pajamas, and literally pinned Kisame to the ground, the kunai dangling loosely from her fingers, the tip touching his forehead protector, and her arm flat, pinned against his neck.  
"What?" She asked him, pressing her arm down.  
I scowled. That idiot has no chance against Kisame.  
"He said FIGHTING." Hidan clarified. Ino blinked.  
"Oh?" She slowly released her lock with a laugh, chucking the kunai back to Hidan, who caught it and shook his head. Kisame looked oddly pale, and I sweat dropped realising it was because Ino was sitting directly on his pelvis. There was silence, apart from Ino's laughing.  
"Sorry about that…" She trailed off, looking uncomfortable for a moment as she realised where she was sitting, and got to her feet, scratching her head with a smile.  
Itachi brushed off his cloak and headed toward the door.  
"Let's go." He spoke, Kisame getting up and grabbing Samehada.  
"Maybe we'll see you around tomorrow." He chuckled, waving to us.  
As soon as they left, Ino collapsed back, I caught her and sighed.  
"You wore yourself out, using so much chakra while in such a crucial condition." Hidan noted, pointing to her.  
"You need to be careful, too. You should always check your surroundings before you let your guard down. How can you call yourself a ninja, Girly? That was pathetic." He paused a moment.  
"You did the same thing at the lake, remember? You were going to step across it before even thinking about the possibility of it being a trap."  
Ino pressed her arm against me, trying to stand up on her own.  
"I'm fine now, so what does it matter?" She snapped.  
Hidan stepped forward furiously, and slapped her across the face.  
"You're too fucking naïve!" He barked, grabbing her chin and pulling it up to face him, his fingernails digging into her skin.  
"I won't bow to complete some damn mission! Right now, you're fucking pissing me off and I want to rip your guts out!"  
Ino spat on him. Hidan grabbed her wrist, and in one clean movement, snapped it. The blonde winced slightly, her gaze still harsh on him.  
"You really are all talk! Go on, dickhead! Rip my guts out! Like you actually could!" She dared.  
Hidan growled and bent the kunai back, ready to stab her directly in the forehead.  
"HIDAN!" I snapped, grabbing the kunai a second before it connected with Ino. Hidan paused, huffing slightly. I gave him a knowing look, and shook my head. He clenched his teeth for a moment, and slammed his hand hard against the desk. There was a seconds silence, before-  
"I'm going to take a walk." He muttered, storming out and slamming the door behind him.

Ino pushed off me and started to limp to the bedroom.  
"Hidan was right." I told her.  
She didn't turn back or look at me, and closed the door behind her.  
With a sigh, I buried my face in my hands and sighed, getting up and folding out the couch to sleep on.

I was awoken later that night by Hidan, who slid into the fold-out-bed next to me. I shifted and turned around to face him.  
"Are you alright?" I whispered. He nodded and sighed.  
"I lost it back there." He admitted, looking at me with a placid expression.  
"You've been acting weird since our last mission, Hidan." I pointed out. He shook his head.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Hidan turned over and stopped talking after that. I smirked, and wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him close against me.  
"I'll tickle you if you don't tell me what's up." I warned. Hidan gasped as I started to tickle his neck. He squirmed, and laughed slightly, irately trying to shake me off him.  
"Stop!" He begged, pressing back against me. I sighed and finally stopped.  
"Did Ino say anything after I left?" He asked. I shook my head against his back.  
"Bitch."

When I awoke the next morning, I found myself clinging to Hidan. Ugh. THIS is why we shouldn't share beds. The both of us had a tendency to be unusually clingy when we're tired, so we always woke up in very weird situations. Hidan was just waking up, too. I sat up and clambered over the mattress to get some coffee, but jumped when I saw Kisame at the table, waving cheerfully, Itachi across from him, drinking some tea.  
"Morning, love birds." Kisame chirped, Hidan got up and flipped him off, folding the lounge back up and yawning loudly. I crossed into the kitchen, scowling as I filled the jug up and got some coffee sachets out.  
"Hidan, go wake up Ino." I told him. Hidan pretended he didn't hear me, probably too stubborn to face her after their spur last night. I groaned.  
"Kisame, would you? And can you check to see if she's still injured at all?" I asked him, pulling milk from the fridge. Kisame looked awkward.  
"I don't know… she kind of scared me last night. I don't want to see how she reacts when she wakes up."  
"You're scared of a little girl?" I gaped, placing bread on the counter, and untwisting the plastic. Kisame shrugged and chuckled, and Itachi got up from his seat. We watched as he entered the bedroom for us, to wake up the Yamanaka girl.  
Kisame looked surprised, and slightly concerned.  
"Do they get along?" I asked him curiously, clicking down the toaster, and sitting at the table.  
"Well… Kind of. Things seemed a little tense between them- but they went to the fireworks show together, so I suppose they aren't mortal enemies." He took a sip of coffee.  
"Hidan had a fight with her last night. Just after you left." I lowered my voice, making sure the Jashinist couldn't hear me. Kisame raised his eyebrows.  
"Really, what happened?" He asked nosily, leaning across the table.  
"He had a go at her for being naïve, she snapped and spat at him, and he nearly killed her in turn." I whispered back.  
Kisame whistled.  
"Wow."

* * *

**R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ino-  
**  
I cradled my broken wrist, the blinds opening next to me. I groaned and glanced over to see Itachi Uchiha, tying up the rope to keep the blinds open. I stared blankly.  
"Itachi?" I wondered aloud, he turned and walked to the bedside.  
"Come here." He demanded, yet his voice not forceful at all.  
I shuffled closer hesitantly, my face paling a bit when he lifted my arm and observed it up close.  
"Uh…. What are you doing?" I asked. He finally came down to my wrist and gave me a questioning look.  
"This was forcibly broken." He noted, and looked up at me, as if waiting for an explanation. I stared, and moved to tug my arm away, but he held onto it tight. I grimaced as a shot of pain went through my wrist.  
"I just had some bad friction with Hidan. No big deal." I brushed it off, trying to move away.  
"No big deal…" He echoed, probably internally trying to work out where my stupidity actually came from.  
"Why do you care, anyway?" I huffed, finally breaking his grip and rubbing my wrist, applying chakra to heal it.  
"You have something precious to protect."  
I stopped healing my wrist and frowned. He was obviously referring to what I told him last night.  
"Well, she hates me- and anyway, it's not like you have an obligation to lecture me on what I should and shouldn't do." I muttered. He remained still for a moment, but took off his cloak. I shuffled backward and went red.  
"What are you-?!"  
He raised his hand to gesture for me to stop, and lifted the bottom of his shirt. There were wrappings around his stomach. I blinked.  
"Are you injured?" I asked softly, gazing up at him. He nodded once.  
"You… want me to heal it…?" I trailed off, slowly raising my good hand to press against his stomach through the wrapping. I closed my eyes, using the moment to relax and apply what chakra I could sum up to tap at whatever wound may have been there. A whooshing noise was all that could be heard; it was the healing process, and the chakra compressing and zipping the wound up. It slowed down, and eventually stopped completely. I looked up at him, realising I was succumbing to exactly what I was trying to avoid last night. Itachi didn't hesitate to hold my gaze under his. It wasn't as intimidating as I thought… in fact, he seemed so gentle… Unintentionally, my hand dug under the wrapping and pulled it loose; it revealed a light scar from what I'd healed. I traced it, looking at how it ran across the entire front of his abdomen, deeper at the beginning and slowly fading off.  
"Thank you." He spoke, backing away; my hand now paused in midair. I stared at it in slight shock; I had this weird… tranquil sensation throughout my body. Glancing back up at Itachi who was reaching for his cloak, I liquefied in my own mind, downright unsure of what to think or say, because I felt like I needed to do _something_. I didn't know what, though- so my head just turned to mush and left me slightly paralysed for a moment, until I finally said something.  
"Wait." There wasn't any harshness, or demand in my tone. I just sort of breathed it out lightly, and he heard me. Turning his head questioningly.  
"What would you comply with if I asked?" I questioned, slowly catching up to my words, waking up and smelling the reality of what was going on. Itachi blinked.  
"What is it you want?" he asked, still impossible to read. I shuffled to the edge of the bed, close to where he was standing, next to it.  
"Can I…?" I started, moving my hands to the material of his shirt again. He didn't protest, so I pressed my hands against his stomach again, my fingertips dancing across and parting until I smoothed my palms around him, my lips nested softly against the small dint, and I pecked the surface once and accidentally slipped a little lower with another one. There was a slight tremble underneath my hands on his back, and I smiled, kissing the waistband of his pants, wanting to feel him shiver because of me, again. I grunted slightly, my face flushing at how low I was kissing, my fingers pulling at the material it found, itching to go further, but resisting because I, myself was shaking at my own actions, getting too excited by what I was being allowed to do.  
I nuzzled my mouth against the button atop of his pants  
"What are you thinking I should do?" I mumbled, slinging around my bad hand to swiftly touch and press the button. I backed up a bit to look at him. He seemed curious, as if testing to see if I would actually dare to it, still looking at him, I let my fingers glide over the material a little further, my thumb grazing playfully against his groin.  
"Didn't you tell me I had no obligation to lecture you on what you should and shouldn't do?" Itachi responded. I slipped my way up to face him, my lips a teasing few inches away from his. I let my hand run under the band, and I went for a small stroke after quickly lacing my fingers around his penis.  
Itachi shut his eyes for a moment, looking like he was trying to contain something. I pressed forward a bit with my lips, them being close enough to touch, he actually moved his hand to my chin and stroked under it, promising a kiss and then-  
"The coffee's ready, Ino." Kakuzu called from the next room.  
With all the fluttery feelings and such, I hummed and forced myself to withdraw from Itachi and the bed both. Happily, I staggered to the door, my body still hurting all over from the senbon attack.  
Itachi said nothing and slowly put his cloak back on, moving out of the room behind me.  
I glanced around the room, Kakuzu was in the kitchen, and he moved over to me with a coffee. I took it from him with a smile.  
"Thanks, Kakuzu-San." I said, going to sit down on the loveseat, when I spotted Hidan on the lounger next to it, eyes closed and refusing to look at me, his hand pressed against his cheek. I glared, my mood dropping immediately. Deciding not to go anywhere near him, I turned and sat in the far corner of the room, on the floor and sipped my coffee with a stubborn frown.  
Kisame and Kakuzu were looking between Hidan and I.  
"They're like two year olds…" Kakuzu muttered. I literally chugged my coffee so fast in anger, it burned my throat, and then I stormed over to the kitchen.  
"So, Ino-chan. What's your book about?" Kisame asked from the table, calling me over to sit with them. _Ino….Chan? What's with the honorific?_  
"It's an action adventure about-" I started.  
"A girl named Yami who went to search for her little brother, who disappeared in a forest full of spirits. It's really good! If it doesn't win the competition, the judges would have to be crazy."  
I looked at Kakuzu, who seemed weirdly enthusiastic about the story. I smiled.  
Kisame chuckled.  
"Not what I was expecting."  
I raised an eyebrow.  
"What do you mean by that?" I asked slowly. Kisame was hesitant to reply.  
"You know, you seem like a romantic is all." He commented. Everyone waited for me to flip my lid and get angry, but it didn't happen. I smiled and shook my head.  
"Are you two staying for the awards ceremony tonight?" Kakuzu asked Itachi and Kisame. Itachi shrugged.  
"I want to stay long enough to fight Ino-chan one-on-one. Samehada likes her chakra." Kisame grinned, gesturing to the giant sword that was physically moving, and curling up to my leg.  
"Uh….." I trailed off.  
"Even Itachi-San was saying she would have the fighting capability to join Akatsuki, if she wanted."  
"EH!?" I yelled, backing away from my chair, wide eyed.  
"What, as a pet? That's probably the only thing that bitch is good for, anyway." Hidan said from the lounger. I resisted retorting something and moved to go to my room.  
"I think I might go out for my breakfast." I said, before closing the door and digging through my backpack for clothing. Instead of wearing my orange shirt and white pants as casual clothes, I put on my purple outfit, which I use on my missions. (It's easy to move in.), and clipped on a shurriken pouch and Kunai holster, I even grabbed my Chuunin tantou, and clipped it above the pouch.  
Walking back out of the room, Kisame and Itachi were standing by the door, ready to go.  
"Huh?" I wondered aloud, giving Kakuzu a questioning glance.  
"Ah. I'm going to stay here with Hidan. Kisame offered to go out with you."  
I sweat dropped. I knew what he meant, but he probably should have phrased that in a way that didn't seem like Kisame offered to _date_ me.  
I nodded slowly, and left the room without another word, Itachi and Kisame following behind.

* * *

**R&R**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ino-**

"I really do hate those two." Kisame said as soon as we sat down at a nice tea-house.  
"Kakuzu-san's alright…" I commented, glancing toward him, trying not to notice Itachi sitting down in the seat next to me.  
"Until he loses it. He killed seven of his partners before Hidan came along." Kisame chuckled slightly, grinning down at me. I suddenly felt nauseated.  
"His own partners…?" I repeated, going pale. This was always something that got me. Attacking your own teammate… only a monster would-  
"Are you ready to order?" A cute brunette asked, approaching the table with a notepad.  
'Onigiri with seaweed, please." Itachi spoke immediately, the waitress went red and nodded, totally wrapped up in the Uchiha looks.  
"Can I please have miso soup? And what would Ino-chan like?" Kisame asked, turning to me. I leaned over the table with the menu, and said to the waitress:  
"What do you recommend, Ueitoresu-Chan? Maybe something sweet?"  
She stared at me wide-eyed for a moment, before going completely red.  
"I- I- S… something sweet sounds… Sounds like a bit much this early…" She stammered, getting flustered over her own words. I gave her a smile.  
"Hmm. Can I please get the Nattō, then?" I asked, watching her blush, and nod furiously, completely withdrawn from Itachi, and now focused on me. After a moment, she took our menus and hurried to place the order.  
I leaned back on the seat with a smile, hungry as hell. Kisame was staring at me, slightly stirred himself. Itachi seemed marginally surprised, too.  
"Why are you both staring at me?" I wondered, looking between them.  
"That… was really suggestive." Kisame spoke, as I realised why the waitress had gotten so flustered.  
I squeaked, my face pale. Of course! I did call her 'Ueitoresu-chan', maybe she thought I was flirting with her... Oops.  
"Kakuzu was telling me about your fight with Hidan last night." Kisame JUST had to bring it up. I folded my arms, mainly to cradle my still half-sore wrist.  
"It was nothing, really." I insisted. Kisame grinned.  
"Not a good idea to spit at someone ready to kill you, Ino-chan." He sung, wagging a finger at me. I scowled, and turned to face the wall.  
After a minute or so, the waitress came back, with our food. I grinned happily, staring at my nattō. Itachi, next to me, though…  
"Are you alright…?" I trailed off. His eyes were dazed as he chewed. I'd never seen anyone look so in love with food before, and that's saying something, because I'm best friends with Chouji.  
I exchanged looks with Kisame.  
"So… You like onigiri…?" I asked. Itachi picked one up, pointing it toward me.  
"Eat some." He demanded, pressing it to my lips. I backed against the wall.  
"I've had onigiri, before! I know what it tastes like!" I insisted, trying to push him back. He got right up close and put it in my hand.  
"This is the best onigiri I've ever had." He seemed weirdly amazed by his own comment, and tried to get me to eat it myself.  
"Eh… Itachi-san…" Kisame sighed from across the table.  
"Okay! Okay!" I agreed, raising it to my lips and taking a bite. Itachi watched me intently. I swallowed and placed the onigiri down.  
"It's alright… Not a fan of that much seaweed in it, though…" I told Itachi. He stared at me for a second, before taking the rice ball from my hand and eating it himself in silence. I gave Kisame a creeped-out look, he gave me a smile, and ate his soup.  
"So, I think I know what Itachi's favourite food is…. What about you, Kisame?" I asked him, chowing down on my nattō. Kisame swallowed a mouth full of soup.  
"Oh… I suppose I like…. Well… I like a lot of things….. maybe it's-"  
"Ebi." Itachi spoke. Kisame blinked.  
"Yeah, that's right. Ebi. What about you?" he asked, I put down my chopsticks.  
"I like….. I like pudding." I answered.  
"What do you want to do after breakfast?" Kisame asked me, drowning his spoon into the soup to take another sip. I thought on it for a second.  
"I was going to do some training, seeing as I didn't get to do it yesterday." I responded. Kisame nodded.  
"Ah, that's a good idea. What do you think, Itachi-san?" He turned to Itachi and smiled, and I could tell, from this, and Itachi's comment on the Ebi, that these two were pretty close. Itachi nodded and finished his last onigiri.  
"Yeah."  
We waited for Kisame to finish his soup for a further few minutes, before paying the bill and getting up to leave. Just as we were out the door, the waitress from earlier ran up to me, and tapped my shoulder.  
I turned around and smiled at her.  
"Would you like something?" I asked politely. She grabbed my hands and looked up at me with wide eyes.  
"I-I just wanted to thank you!" She stammered, her face getting red by the second. I blinked.  
"Thank me for… what?" I asked unsurely. She smiled, and averted her eyes.  
"I- I think I discovered what my sexual preference was, thanks to you!" I went slightly pale for a moment, before smiling.  
"Well, that's great!" I nodded. She let go of my hands and bowed as I turned back again.  
"You're a cute woman, Ueitoresu-chan~" I sung, before walking ahead. Itachi and Kisame slowly caught up to me and when we got away from the shop, Kisame spoke.  
"Well, I'm completely amazed." He admitted, gesturing us over to a path that led to a forest area; perfect for training. I was slightly shocked myself.  
"I think I've discovered a weird ability to attract women." I spoke softly, remembering how Dekuchi's assistant blushed at me the night before. Itachi glanced at me, and I resisted the urge to question him on it, seeing as he never answers anyway.  
When we'd reached the tree line, which I am now going to call a training ground, Kisame put down his great sword, Samehada, and smirked at me.  
"Want to spar, Ino-chan?" He asked. I pretended to look shocked.  
"You're going to fight a little girl like me?" I pouted, but laughed it off.  
"Alright. You got a deal. You ready?" I asked, hesitantly looking at Samehada, which I know for a fact, absorbs chakra. Kisame nodded, Itachi sitting down by a tree to watch.  
I glanced around the area, noting my surroundings; trees were around us full circle, but a fair distance away.  
_Alright. _

* * *

**R&R**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ino- **

I leapt forward, deciding to go on the offensive, Kisame ran forward also, and stopped as I leapt into the air a few metres away. He stood, ready to defend against me. I immediately pushed myself down, and skidded right through his legs, taking out my tantou and moving to slice his back. I only got a bandage on Samehada, however as he turned immediately, and moved down his right arm, ready to slam me. I pushed myself back and performed a series of hand seals, pressing my palms against the ground and causing a wall of hard earth to rise above me, acting solely as a distraction as I dug an explosive tag under it, and leapt up. I pressed my hands together for the tiger seal, and waited for the split second when I would be able to blow it up. As the pressure came out, the rock came shooting at Kisame, who hissed slightly and dodged back, turning afterward, and raising up Samehada- whirling him around and catching me mid-air with him. I felt a gush of air leave me as the spikes dug into my stomach, and he threw me hard onto the ground.  
I gagged, and tasted blood, but that didn't stop me from shakily getting back to my feet. I bit my lip, concentrating hard as I healed my wound. It was like I'd been attacked with a shredder. Blinking, I realised my chakra was running lower than I'd thought, from healing those senbon wounds the previous night, to healing Itachi's stomach that morning, I DID use up a bit, but there was still less there than what I would have thought- oh. Samehada! Of course!  
I whipped out five kunai and three shurriken from my holster, with a smirk.  
"Now you've done it." I growled, reeling them back and throwing them at Kisame. He raised Samehada and easily blocked them, but with force, I tugged on the wires attached to the weaponry and jerked Samehada straight out of his grip when he didn't expect it.  
"You separated me from Samehada!" He noted, me leaping forward immediately with as much speed as possible and kicking up to his jaw with extreme force. His feet actually left the ground, and I spun midair and slammed my heel against his chest using refined chakra and bursting it out when it connected, the effect so hard, he literally flew back and hit a tree. I danced and wobbled, landing back on my feet and taking a short breath, my victory smile fading as the body I'd kicked turned to a puddle of water.  
"Water clone…?" I whispered, quickly turning and letting out a small squeak leave my lips as he ran toward me, swinging Samehada backwards for the kill. I did the first thing I could think off, then and performed a sign for my mind-body paralysis. He stopped, and I managed to get him to throw down Samehada in the split second before Kisame managed to break the jutsu due to my lack of chakra. I skidded back, taking short breaths.  
Kisame grinned.  
"Do you want to stop? You look like that wore you out. After all, you took a lot of damage last night."  
My head snapped toward him, and I reached back to my shurriken pouch and took out one Hyorogan, popping it into my mouth with a scowl. This would take its toll on me later. Food pills tended to hate me, with all the stimulants in them.  
"Hyorogan? Isn't that cheating a bit?" Itachi spoke from the sidelines. I could practically HEAR a smirk. I kept my vision on Kisame, feeling my chakra replenishing. Kisame laughed.  
"Samehada drains chakra, and can easily transfer power to Kisame, his wielder. All's fair in love and war." I spoke, using the opportunity to heal up all of the senbon wounds and my wrist. With a smirk, I crouched down slightly.  
I hadn't been training with Gai-Sensei lately for nothing.

_"Ah! Ino-chan!" Gai-Sensei called, upon seeing me working my taijutsu on a stump. He was followed by Neji, Lee and Tenten, his students, who all had training equipment with them. Tenten grinned.  
"You sure are up early, aren't you?" She commented, running forward to place a target on a training stump, and stepping back to pull out her scrolls.  
Lee ran over to me, fast as lightning.  
"Please spar with me, Ino!" He cried, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly. I sweat dropped.  
"Why me?" I asked lowly, trying to pry him off me.  
"You were the top overall rookie in academy, right?" He confirmed. I squirmed out of his grip and rubbed my shoulder.  
"Sasuke-kun was just as good," I told him, "and Shino, too. Go ask them to spar with you."  
Lee shook his head and gave me puppy eyes.  
"Drop it Lee. She's too prideful to acknowledge that she'd lose out loud, when really she knows she's inferior to everyone around her. On top of that, she's lazier than Shikamaru and really, without a sensei, she has no chance of even improving at this point, because she's slipshod with training and yields to her impulses." Neji spoke, looking me dead in the eye.  
"Neji! How could you say a thing like that?!" Tenten snapped disapprovingly.  
"No… He's right." I spoke softly, pushing Lee away and sitting down on the grass. Gai gestured for Tenten to not comment, and walked over to crouch before me.  
"Ino-chan. Are you alright?" He asked softly, extremely different from his usual self. I looked up at him, tears welling in my eyes. He patted my head and smiled softly.  
"You just need to train, and work through it with hot blooded passion and guts." He seemed dead serious though, and took my hands.  
"Because, you have an amazing talent deep down, and if you work with it," He wiped away a tear streaming down my face. "Not even Neji would be able to compare."  
I stared up with wide eyes, a new passion bursting through my system. No one had ever been so nice to me like that before, and I think I started to understand why Lee admires him so much. I felt myself shake and sob clutching his hands and nodding slowly. Lee came over to my side, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me, with a slight squeeze of encouragement. I sniffled, leaning against him.  
"Ino." Neji also came over. I looked toward him, waiting for a harsh comment, but it never came.  
"Train with us from now on."  
Tenten nodded in agreement behind him. I felt a smile cross my face.  
'Asuma-Sensei… I think… I might just become a great kunoichi after all.'_

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**R&R**


	13. Chapter 13

**Ino-**

I reached under my knee warmers and arm warmers, to pull out weights which I'd been wearing around since I started training with them.  
"I hope your eyes can keep up." I grinned, before throwing them back. The moment they connected with the ground, a large dint formed. Kisame blinked, somewhat surprised.  
"That's ridiculous." He muttered, getting on his guard.  
I leaned backward and then, leapt, spinning round fast enough to create an afterimage, there, I shamelessly used the Leaf Whirlwind, my foot connecting with his arm, as he attempted to block it. He winced, as I pressed on and forced him to skid back, his arm left bleeding as my hands padded the ground and pushed me off it, in less than a second, I'd kicked him in the stomach before he could defend it, grabbed his cloak as he was about to fly back, and smashed my knee hard against his head. He skidded backward, coughing up some blood as I stood there, my right hand on the defensive, and my left hovering against my kunai holster.  
Wiping his mouth, Samehada moved on its own and trailed up his arm, his wounds healing immediately. He smirked, and got to his feet.  
"I've seen that move before." He growled.  
"Now that I know you've been training with that bizarre beast, I know not to go easy on you anymore, Ino-chan." He picked up Samehada, and made numerous hand seals. Three water clones leapt at me from different angles, I cursed under my breath, jumping up and pulling out numerous shurriken. I'd been blessed with brilliant skills at shurriken jutsu as a child, even Tenten was impressed at my aiming ability whilst moving, which was saying something. With a flip and a turn of my hand I had all three clones gone due to multiple shurriken thrown at them with precise aim and force. However, as soon as they dissolved into puddles, the water flew at me, taking the form of a shark. I was practically trapped midair; at that point I only had one option. I used my earth-style, which wasn't that good because I'd only just started on it. The feeling was like vomiting, as always, and rock came to form a hard dome-like shield from my mouth. The water technique had it destroyed in a millisecond though, it being overpowered, even though Water-style is weak against Earth, and leaving cuts on my shoulders and shins. I plummeted to the ground with incredible force, and felt my head collide hard with the ground.

Everything after that was a blur, I felt someone rush over and pick me up and next thing I knew I was being carried into a room, two figures around me , the larger laying me down on something soft, the smaller out of my view, watching.  
"There's only a small medical center, but they have links with villages after us."  
One of them mumbled.  
"I should go and get Kakuzu. He might be able to sew it up."  
"This is delicate work, you can't simply stitch up a head wound."  
"Well, do you know any medical ninjutsu?"  
"I've read about it, but I don't think I can perform it."  
"Well that's just great. What do we do, now?"  
I raised my arm to dip my finger in the blood trailing down my cheek. Then proceeded to slowly make hand seals.  
"What is she doing?"  
"Looks like a summoning."  
I heard a puff, and saw a blurry white and blue figure, slipping up my arm. The smaller person jumped back across the room.  
I moaned lowly, feeling the pressure and pain on my head slowly fade. Soon enough, my vision was back, and my chakra was being replenished.  
"Thank you, Katsuyu…" I whispered, as the slug flopped off my head and slid to heal a large wound on my shin. I sat up, rubbing me eyes. Itachi was on the other side of the room, wearily eyeing Katsuyu. Kisame was sitting next to me; I was on a futon in a small traditional motel. It must've been the place those two were staying.  
"Well you sure are tough." Kisame commented, turning back toward Itachi.  
"What's wrong Itachi-san?" he asked, marginally concerned. Katsuyu disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Itachi returned back to the bedside to sit.  
"Not a fan of slugs." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow, my body aching all over.  
"Ugh, that was awful. I can't believe I let myself lose…" I groaned, my ego deflated. Kisame shook his head and grinned.  
"What are you talking about? You got both me and my first water clone down without barely any trouble." I shook my head.  
"You were going easy on me." I pointed out. Itachi and Kisame exchanged looks and sighed.  
"I'm a lot older than you, Ino-chan. I have more experience. You made me fight seriously, which means I clearly acknowledged you as an equal." Kisame said. My blinked and stared up at him, with wonder.  
"R-really?!" I asked, a small smile painting its way across my lips. He nodded and patted my head.  
"Are you hungry? I think I might go pick up some onigiri for lunch."  
Itachi and I nodded in unison. Kisame chuckled and stood up, placing Samehada safe on his back.  
"Be back soon, then." He called, leaving the room.  
I smiled to myself.  
"That Shurriken jutsu you did was flawless." Itachi spoke immediately, reaching into his shurriken pouch and pulling out some bandages. He lifted my leg onto his lap and started to wrap the bandage around the cuts on my shins. I watched it, staring intensely at his lazy gaze on what he was doing. When he'd finished wrapping one leg, he pushed it back and slid in between the two, to get a better angle wrapping the other one. I continued to watch, only just realising how much just watching him turned me on. After what seemed like a long time, he finished wrapping them, and went sat back where he was before to get more wrapping.  
"…Thanks…" I mumbled, staring at the bandages with a small smile.  
I pressed back against the wall behind me, as he approached closer again.  
"Tell me if it hurts." He smoothed his hand over my stomach, lightly pressing around in places, and then he moved it up to my torso, lightly touching the ribcage, fingers digging lightly under the end of my shirt. I gasped as he reached a sore-spot just under my left breast.  
"There! Oh- shit!" I cursed. He nodded and reached around my chest, unbuttoning my shirt to place the bandages, and wrap around where it hurt. I backed my face up a bit, slightly pink, noting how accidentally grazed my breast past my mesh bra as he clipped together the ends of the bandage, but didn't notice it himself. I gulped as he moved his hand away, the weirdest fluttery feeling in my stomach as I grabbed it before he could completely withdraw and pulled it down, to jerk him forward over me. His head snapped up to look at me.  
"Why did you….?" He trailed off as I slid back down the wall slightly to reach my hand to his thigh and attempt to move it over me. Itachi blinked in realisation and lifted his leg to bring it over the other side of me. I breathed out in anticipation, my hand coming back up to rest on his shoulder. I leaned forward and hesitantly laid a kiss on his neck. The moment it connected with his skin, he grabbed my right arm and pressed it to the wall, above my head.  
"Naïve." He spoke, moving his knee back between my legs and pressing it against my crotch. His other hand moved to grab my chin.  
"Don't forget that I'm still a _man_, and a wanted murderer, _Ino-chan_." He used the honorific to mock me, and pressed his lips to my earlobe, his tongue flicking out and skimming warmly against it. I accidentally gasped and moaned slightly, before regaining my cool and smirking.  
"Oh, please. If you wanted to rape me, you would have done it yesterday, this morning, or even three minutes ago." I retorted back, not raising my voice at all, but leaning forward again and pressing my lips an inch from to his and whispering,  
"And I'm experienced when it comes to defending myself against men that _think _they can overthrow me."  
He smirked and slammed his lips against the side of my neck, pressing me flat up against the wall and digging under my skirts and mesh shorts to pressure his hand against my core, his finger dancing over my panties as I squirmed with excitement under him. He kissed down over my clavicle, and was about to pull down my mesh bra, when we heard footsteps in the next room. He moved his hands and sat back where he was before, just in time for Kisame to enter the room with a hum and a load of plastic bags. (presumably with food in them.)  
He paused, looking between us.  
"You haven't been getting it on, have you?" He asked suspiciously, and then chuckled to himself, placing the food on the table. I shakily got to my feet, avoiding Itachi's gaze at all costs, and going to sit down at a chair.

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**Hot chapter... Ermmmm...**  
**R&R**


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